Introducing Herr Fluffermeister!
by The Bibliomaniac
Summary: I'm not sure if this is crackfic or not... but it involves a talking rabbit who wants to go on vacation...


A/N: I'm not sure this counts as a crackfic... it's the result of spending too much time staring at my rabbit during winter break. He really dislikes when we go to my parent's house, so I worry a lot about him... His name is Doc (as in 'what's up doc', also, Doc is a nickname for Doctor, which I like (Doctor Who, and I'm a premed)) however, one of the many nicknames I have given him is Herr Fluffermeister, I don't know why. Anyway, I think I may write more stories about him if I feel motivated. Without further ado... Herr Fluffermeister!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Doctor Who, however, I did adopt Doc and nobody else can lay claim to him.

The room was dark, lit only by a fish tank light. Next to the fish tank, three parakeets tittered quietly to themselves. There was an entertainment center with a couch in the middle of the room. It was hard to tell in the darkness, but it was a cozy room, the social center of a home. It was by no means neat, but it was clean and organized. Except for one corner…

An easy chair had been pushed roughly to the side to make room for a cage. In the cage, on top of a box, sat a rabbit. His nose twitched as his eyes darted around the room. Nothing. He stretched himself as tall as possible in the small cage and sniffed the air. Still nothing. His ears (well, ear, since he was half-lopped and one ear was always flopped over) swiveled around. The birds, the hum of electricity from the entertainment center, the quiet whistle of air conditioning. No humans around.

The rabbit jumped off is box and grabbed one of his toys. He pulled the piece of wood into his box. There was a crackling noise and a brief flash of light. The rabbit emerged from the box and jumped back onto the top of it and waited.

Time went by. Occasionally, the rabbit would glance up at the clock on the wall. His hind leg thumped his box every so often. If his owner were home, she would have said he was annoyed. She was not home though. He had not seen her in days. If her family was home, they would have looked around the room, commenting on the banging noise before one of them realized it was the rabbit. They would then spend ten minutes trying to figure out what to make of it before shrugging and going back to what ever they were doing. They were not home though. They had left several hours ago.

Finally, something started to happen. There was a loud wooshing noise. Wind started to pick up, which was odd, since the doors and windows were closed and locked. The parakeets started to scream and flap about wildly in their cage.

The TARDIS vwarped into existence. A tall man opened the door and stepped out. He glanced about in the darkness. "That's odd," he said quietly to himself. "Amy, you can come out. It's only someone's house." He called back into the TARDIS and stepped out, looking around.

"Doctor, you still haven't explained what we're doing here!" the redhead protested, stepping into the room as well.

"Got a message from a friend; he wanted to meet me here," said the Doctor, still looking around. "The problem is, I don't know who it was from, just that it was a friend."

The rabbit in the corner rolled his eyes. He then thumped his hind leg as hard as possible. The Doctor whirled around and saw the rabbit. "Oh ho! Herr Fluffermeister! So you're the one who sent for me. How good to see you!" The rabbit nodded his head enthusiastically. He then started twitching his legs and flicking his ears. "Hold on," said the Doctor, "I have a motion to sound speech translator." The Doctor started digging in his pockets. Amy glanced between the Doctor and the rabbit.

"You speak rabbit now too?" she asked.

"Don't be daft, Amelia. Rabbits don't speak." He pulled out a small collar with a flourish.

"…" Amy spluttered in confusion.

"Herr Fluffermeister, I need to put this on you." The rabbit nodded excitedly and the Doctor opened the cage door. He reached in and gently slipped the collar over the rabbit's long ears.

"Thank you so much, Doctor!" said the rabbit. It bounced out of the cage and stretched, enjoying his new freedom.

"What?" asked Amy.

"Amelia, I would like you to meet Herr Fluffermeister. He's a leporidae from the planet Märchenland. Fun fact, his kind is what influenced Lewis Carroll to write in the white rabbit and the March Hare into Alice in Wonderland. I took him on a trip to Märchenland. Of course the TARDIS translated Märchenland to Wonderland, again influencing him…"

"Hello, I assume your name is Amelia?" asked the rabbit, cutting the Doctor's explanation off.

"Amy. And you are Herr Fluffermeister?" she responded politely. The rabbit at this point had jumped forward and was perched on his hind legs looking up at Amy. Amy kneeled over so that she could look closer at him.

"You may call me Doc if you prefer. It is much shorter. It is the name my companion calls me."

"Who?"

"Well, she thinks she's my owner, but I wouldn't live with her if I didn't like it," said Doc.

"Uh huh…"

"It's a perfect set up really. I get all the food I want, a free place to live, and someone to give me attention when I want it. In return, I am cute and fluffy and someone for her to lecture at when she's studying for a test. Many leporidae enjoy this type of companionship. We have an agreement with your humane societies." Doc explained. Amy blinked a few time. It made sense, but it was so weird…

"Not to interrupt," interrupted the Doctor, "but why are we here? I was about to take Amy to the Van Gough exhibit in London."

"I was bored, something I'm sure you can understand. And I hate this cage. My companion is on break from school and this is my so-called vacation home. It's much too small. What's more, she's on a trip with her sister, leaving me in the not very capable hands of her family. Take me with you, please!" Doc begged.

"Well…"

"Doctor, you said if I ever wanted to travel with you, all I had to do was ask. I know you said you're going to a museum, but couldn't you put that on hold?" Doc put his paws together, begging. Amy almost awed: it was so cute looking.

The Doctor glanced at Amy. She was senior companion after all… she appeared to be exerting great restraint not to pick up the rabbit and cuddle him unmercifully. "Alright, Herr Fluffermeister. Hop on in." Doc made an enormous binky. (A/N: a binky is when a rabbit jumps strait up in the air, it's a sign of excitement. Do a youtube search, it's adorable.) "When do you need to be back in the cage?"

"I believe my companion's family will be back in a few hours," he said, merrily hopping into the TARDIS. "However, I am uncertain, so if you could arrange it so that we come back a few minutes after we leave, I would greatly appreciate it."

The Doctor and Amy followed Doc into the TARDIS. In typical rabbit manner, he was dashing all over the console room, inspecting everything that was at rabbit height.

The Doctor nodded and wandered over to the console to 'save' the time-space coordinates.

As the Doctor programmed a new location, the TARDIS vwarped out of existence. Once again, the parakeets in the roomed started to scream and flap around in their cage. A short while later, the room was quiet and dark again, just the same as it was, minus one rabbit.

So. I know there's not a lot of characterization for Doc. What do you think though? Should I write more stories involving him? I'll get more of a feel for him as I write (theoretically). Leave reviews!


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